poetika / politika
“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”
Sections in the bookstore
- Books You Haven’t Read
- Books You Needn’t Read
- Books Made for Purposes Other Than Reading
- Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong to the Category of Books Read Before Being Written
- Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered
- Books You Mean to Read But There Are Others You Must Read First
- Books Too Expensive Now and You’ll Wait ‘Til They’re Remaindered
- Books ditto When They Come Out in Paperback
- Books You Can Borrow from Somebody
- Books That Everybody’s Read So It’s As If You Had Read Them, Too
- Books You’ve Been Planning to Read for Ages
- Books You’ve Been Hunting for Years Without Success
- Books Dealing with Something You’re Working on at the Moment
- Books You Want to Own So They’ll Be Handy Just in Case
- Books You Could Put Aside Maybe to Read This Summer
- Books You Need to Go with Other Books on Your Shelves
- Books That Fill You with Sudden, Inexplicable Curiosity, Not Easily Justified
- Books Read Long Ago Which It’s Now Time to Re-read
- Books You’ve Always Pretended to Have Read and Now It’s Time to Sit Down and Really Read Them”
1. 3 weeks into knowing each other, I distanced myself so far from you I might as well have moved across the country. I am so sorry.
2. Once you start falling in love, you can’t stop. You just keep falling and falling until you fall forever for that one person - or you fall and you break. I broke you, and I am so sorry.
3. There’s different types of fears. There’s hesitance and there’s suffocation with a scent of death. You were the latter. I am so sorry.
4. When you give into fear, you either cope with it or it kills you. When you killed parts of me, I killed all of you. I am so sorry.
5. Handing someone your heart is like handing them a gun and giving them permission to pull the trigger. I should have warned you; I love to flirt with tragedy. I am so sorry.
6. I’m more stubborn than a hurricane on acid. I taught winter how to be cold. I’m more inconsistent than cell phone reception in the middle of a forest. You dealt with my cruelest flaws but I couldn’t even deal with your habit of short fingernails and coffee breath. I’m so sorry.
7. You spilled your heart to me and I forgot to mention all I do is walk away from messes. I am so sorry.
8. You were in such a dark place, so I ran. I guess I was scared of seeing something so similar to me besides in my own reflection. Fuck dammit, I am so sorry.
9. I never cheated and I never lied or hit you or cursed at you or used your flaws against you, or anything like that but oh god, did I hurt you. I am so sorry.
10. I remember lots of “I’m sorry’s” and “I can’t do this anymore’s” and “I don’t want to hurt you’s” — but I don’t remember a single “goodbye”. I am so fucking sorry.
11. You were 11 when you lost your mother. Not to a coffin, but to burning vodka and poison-filled needles. I am so sorry. (I hope she is too.)
12. 11 months and 12 days later, I’m counting up to our year anniversary. Since I left, all I’ve been doing is drinking and smoking and fucking until I feel that distinct feeling of feeling absolutely nothing at all. Happy Anniversary, darling - I am so sorry.
13. I’m not sorry because of my countless mistakes. I am sorry because you loved me and I love you and I lost you. I am so sorry. I will always be sorry.”
“i never quite relaxed around him, and so i stayed in love longer than i expected. he fulfilled my notion of love, which meant no one would ever get what they wanted. love for me had never been a source of comfort, but of anxiety and longing, desire and regret. it was a terrible emotion, really. i learned that from observing the way my parents cruelly danced around each other.”